Here is another similar version of this Sedōka which is shortened to a 4/6/6 tanka style to compensate for English language syllables versus Japanese sound units:
red sky at night
the prophesy of dreams–
sleep befell me
shepherd, sailor
I woke to the delight...
a biblical sunrise
No matter which style this Sedōka uses, it takes on the same meaning. The upper verse sets up the image and a prediction per that old saying “a red sky at night”, which originated first for a shepherd in the Bible and later was applied to predicting the weather for sailors. The lower verse deepens the top verse, and the reader is free to share the poet’s perspective.
This next Sedōka example is a question-response between two lovers, a condensed haiku style of a 3/5/3 structure, which still keeps the songful rhythm:
why is it
so long you’ve been lost
in a fog
patience love
spring sun shall show what
you wait for…
Here is another similar version of my question-response Sedōka that shows how to use the 5/7/7 English language tanka style by simply elaborating on the theme:
why is it so long
since you’ve been lost in a fog
when will all come clear again
be patient my love
the spring sun shall soon reveal
what you are waiting for…
In both versions of this Sedōka, the upper verse simply poses a question of waiting for something or someone, and hints at the season. The lower verse provides an obscure yet elaborate answer by a lover. In this case, only the reader can interpret or imagine what the first person has been waiting for; we know only that whatever the answer is, it shall be revealed by the spring sun.
This third example is the Sedōka style in a tanka format of 5/7/7 where the head (first line) question is repeated with an answer:
where would my love dwell
if ever she existed
for me in this universe
my love would dwell where
waves caress the ocean rocks
and a mermaid calls my name
an’ya,USA
Here is a final example of a question-answer Sedōka also, but it’s between mentor and student and uses a condensed tanka style of 4/6/6 English syllables:
O my mentor
how does one learn answers
to the questions he seeks
wisdom is but
stars in a bucket pulled
from the depths of one's well
an'ya, USA
-------
Submissions for our new Wing of the United Haiku and Tanka Society’s Premier Edition of Songbirds Sedōka Journal are open from 1 November 2023 until 1 December 2023. (midnight) GMT.
Take the Challenge and Become a Sedōka Songbird
Submission Guidelines
1. Please send your work in the body of an email only, with no attachments, and be sure to include your country, name, and email address.
2. Only works that have never been previously published will be considered.
3. Works submitted elsewhere simultaneously will not be considered.
4. Submit up to 5 Sedōka that follow closely the explanation of this genre above.
5. Works must be submitted in English using the suggested format for Sedōka per the examples above.
6. Poets should be open to considering constructive suggestions and workshopping.
7. Works that will not be considered, please do not submit mainstream short-form poems, and be sure to read the article above in depth.
Response Time: Within 2 weeks of submitting, and if you don’t hear back by then, please resend. Submit your work with the subject heading of SONGBIRDS SEDOKA SUBMISSIONS to an’ya via:
theunitedhaikuandtankasociety@gmail.com or tankaanya@gmail.com
Copyright Policy: All rights revert back to authors upon publication, although credits for having been first published in Songbirds Sedōka Journal, are required.